There's a fire on TV...

WARNING: girl stuff will be discussed.

Yesterday I had such a stupid girlie episode, it actually made me feel ill. I'm not normally the type to do stupid, irrational things like most chicks. I like to think I'm a bit more reasonable, logical and sane. But I couldn't help myself yesterday. It all just kind of blew up in my face. One little thing set me off, and I turned into bitchzilla. And the most frustrating part was that I sat back and watched myself do it, without being able to stop it. I'm never that out of control during the hormonal times of the month. Usually I can keep tabs on myself by purposely watching a sappy movie and having a crying fit; that almost always gets it out.

It was just... so overwhelming. I got upset, and tried to keep it in. Then I got mad at myself for being upset, and started crying. Then I got mad because I was so mad I was crying, and the cycle continues. But not only was I feeling emotional, I was acting that way too. I tried to warn Mike away but he's too persistent sometimes. He really needs to learn when I just need to be left alone... if not for my sake, then for his. Usually when I know I'm going to be that dramatic I'll stay away from people. I'd rather not bite his head off when it isn't actually his fault.

I once read somewhere that PMS is a psychological thing, and I would like to heatedly debate that topic with that unknown person. I bet it was a man who said it. Men just don't understand the kind of shit that women go through. I'm not ignorant of the fact that men have their own set of problems, but I'm also not ignorant enough to claim I understand them. From what I DO understand, men's issues tend to be socially based. Women have that too, but we also have the physical problems.

Here's a bit of a rant.

Periods. GAH. Bleeding for anywhere between 3 to 7 days per month. Having to deal with maxipads and tampons. Being constantly afraid that you will leak all over your pants and make a social mockery of yourself. I hear some women have odour problems. The ups and downs of the bleeding cycle: heavy, medium and light flow days. If you don't use tampons, you can't go swimming. Tampons are actually pretty unhealthy for the body but are convenient in other ways except application. Then there's the PAIN... having to suck down Tylenol like it's being discontinued. Cramps that take over your abdomen, radiate down your legs and up your back. Feeling constantly drained of energy from blood loss and painkillers. Breasts swelling and becoming painfully tender. Possibly retaining water. Craving all the wrong foods and not being satisfied with salad or healthy alternatives. And the best part... most men won't even touch you when you're bleeding, like it's some kind of physical taboo... with the irony that some women get incredibly horny at that time. It's ludicrous.

I've always found that my hormonal stage occurs just before my monthly inconvenience, and maybe a day or two into it. So I know when it's coming if I'm feeling irrationally emotional. Men complain about the hormone surges, but most of the time we can't always help it. Some have managed to control it, or at least recognize the warning signs, but in the end it's ruled by a bodily system that does not take orders from the rational brain. It can be compared to morning wood or teenage wet dreams... it's just something that may or may not happen randomly at semi-predictable times.

I could go on to other girlie issues, but I'm rather tired from the blood loss.